There's a specific kind of dread that builds around certain tasks, not because the task itself is hard, but because of everything that's happened the last ten times you tried it. The unanswered email. The pile of laundry. The phone call you've been avoiding. It's not that you don't know how to do these things. It's that something stands between you and starting, and that something isn't logical.
ADHD coach Brendan Mahan has a name for this: the Wall of Awful. Every time a task goes badly, whether you forget, give up partway through, or just feel overwhelmed trying, it leaves behind a residue of difficult feelings. You may experience frustration, shame, or self-criticism. That residue doesn't disappear once the moment passes. It sticks around, and the next time you approach the same task, you're not just facing the task itself, you're facing everything you felt the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that.
Why This Builds Up More for ADHD Brains
Executive function challenges mean tasks don't always go the way you intend them to, even when you care about getting them done. Over months or years, a pattern of difficult attempts at a particular task can quietly accumulate into something that feels much bigger than the task deserves. This isn't a character flaw. It's the natural result of a brain that struggles with initiation and follow-through being asked to try the same thing over and over, often without support or understanding.
It Isn't About the Task Anymore
Once the wall has built up, the task stops being the actual obstacle. The obstacle becomes the anticipated feeling, the dread of disappointing yourself again, the shame of having avoided it this long, the exhaustion of knowing how hard it might feel to start. This is why advice like “just do it” or “break it into steps” often doesn't land. Those strategies address the task. They don't address the wall.
What Actually Helps
Lowering the wall isn't about willpower, it's about working with the feelings underneath the avoidance, not around them. A few things that can help: naming the specific feeling attached to the task instead of pushing past it, lowering the bar for what 'starting' even means (opening the email without replying counts), and offering yourself the same compassion you'd offer someone else who's struggled with something for a long time.
None of this means the task gets easier overnight. But understanding why it feels so heavy can be the first brick removed from the wall.
This post is for general educational purposes and isn't a substitute for personalized care. If you're navigating this on your own and want more individualized support, we'd love to help, see the consultation info below.
Ready to Talk to Someone Who Understands?
At Willow Creek Counselling, we work with adults who are navigating life with ADHD, including those who have just received a diagnosis and are trying to make sense of what it means. Our approach is neurodiversity-affirming, which means we start from the belief that there is nothing wrong with the way your brain is wired.
If you're looking for a space to process all of this, feel free to book a free 15 minute consultation with one of our therapists by clicking the book now button below. We are here to support.
— Devyn Eadie, MACP, RP | Registered Psychotherapist & Clinic Owner
Further Reading
Overcoming the Wall of Awful by Brendan Mahan, Jessica McCabe, and Alex Hughes Capell, a deeper dive into the model discussed in this post.
The ADHD Essentials Podcast, hosted by Brendan Mahan, covering ADHD and executive function topics.
Life Skills Advocate's breakdown of the Wall of Awful for a quick overview if you want to learn more before picking up the book.
Tools That Might Help
If you're looking for more support between sessions, a couple of things I've created might help:
My printable workbooks, including Gamify Your Life (for procrastination and task paralysis) and Wired for Momentum (an executive function workbook), are designed specifically for ADHD, Autistic, and AuDHD adults.
The NeuroCompass app, a free planner and toolkit I built for neurodivergent minds, can help make daily structure feel a little more manageable. [NeuroCompass App] (Google Play) or [NeuroCompass Web App] (iPhone and other devices)
