Perfectionism
Perfectionism often starts as a way to feel safe, capable, or in control, but over time, it can become exhausting. You might find yourself setting impossibly high standards, feeling anxious about mistakes, or struggling to rest because there’s always something that could be done better. Even when you achieve something, it might never feel like enough.
At Willow Creek Counselling, we understand how deeply perfectionism can take root, especially for those who grew up masking, overachieving, or feeling misunderstood. For many neurodivergent people, perfectionism can be a response to years of trying to meet expectations that weren’t made for you.
Therapy can help you untangle the patterns that keep you stuck in self-criticism and find gentler ways to relate to yourself. Together, we’ll explore where these pressures come from, how they show up in your daily life, and what it means to build self-worth that isn’t dependent on performance or productivity.
You don’t need to let perfectionism define your worth. Change doesn’t mean losing your motivation or care, it means learning to hold yourself with more understanding, flexibility, and compassion.
All-or-Nothing Thinking
All-or-nothing thinking is a pattern where things feel entirely one way or the other, like success or failure, good or bad, perfect or pointless. It can make small setbacks feel like total defeats and make it hard to recognize progress or self-worth in the spaces in between.
This kind of thinking often shows up alongside perfectionism, reinforcing the belief that anything less than perfect is not enough. For many neurodivergent people, all-or-nothing thinking can be a response to inconsistent expectations, masking, or trying to make sense of unclear social or performance rules.
In therapy, we explore where these patterns come from and find ways to hold more flexibility and self-compassion, even when things do not go exactly as planned.
All or nothing thinking can show up as:
Feeling like one missed deadline means you are failing at work or school
Believing that if your project isn’t perfect, it has no value
Putting off starting a task because conditions aren’t “just right”
Starting a new habit, going all in every day, and then stopping completely after missing one day
Struggling with healthy eating by either following a “perfect” plan or giving up entirely after one slip
Downplaying achievements, like thinking a good grade or positive feedback doesn’t count
Criticizing yourself harshly for minor mistakes, like spilling coffee or forgetting an appointment
Avoiding risks, like trying a new hobby, for fear of not doing it perfectly
Getting stuck in cycles of frustration or guilt when things don’t go exactly as planned
How We Can Help
At Willow Creek Counselling, we offer a space to slow down and understand the patterns driving perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking. Together, we look at what these patterns are protecting and find ways to meet those needs with more compassion and flexibility.
Our approach is neurodivergent-affirming, collaborative, and paced to fit you. Therapy might involve exploring boundaries, self-criticism, burnout, or the fear of not being “enough.” We may work to get to the root of your perfectionism through trauma-informed therapy approaches or we may look at strategies to help you in the present day with “stuck” thought patterns. We focus on helping you reconnect with your values, find rest without guilt, and build a sense of self that isn’t defined by constant achievement.
Over time, the goal isn’t to erase your standards or motivation, it’s to create space for balance, authenticity, and self-kindness.